Time to take another stab at this forgiveness thing. Funny how when I started thinking and studying on the subject of forgiveness, I have found more opportunities to put it into practice. (Both in asking for it myself as well as granting it to others). Such is life. Did you noticed how I said, "put it into practice?" Forgiveness really is a practice or choice. If you notice in the definition above, it is something we grant, we give up all claims or rights. It requires an action on our part. I found a few other definitions that talk about forgiveness that I'd like to share as well:
-to pardon somebody for a mistake
-excuse a misunderstanding or wrong doing,
-to grant relief from payment or to forgive a debt.
In all of these definitions, we are responsible for acting if we choose to forgive.
Studies show that those who forgive are much happier and much healthier than those who withhold forgiveness. The reality is those who withhold forgiveness become easily resentful, bitter, hostile, hateful and angry. I don’t know about you. but I have found those very traits displayed in my life at times and I was absolutely miserable.
It has been well documented that a person who has prolonged resentment and anger suffers a heightened range of health issues (both cardiovascular and in the nervous system) as well as emotional and mental issues. Again, I’ve recognized this in my own life. This hit very close to home for me a few years back. I was dealing with some deep pain and because I wallowed in it, bitterness took root as well as a range of other emotions and I became super ill physically. Honestly speaking, I was also emotionally and mentally ill as well. All the time I was thinking it was simply a major health issue when the reality was the physical problems were just ramifications of a much deeper issue. All this to say that I am living proof that unforgiveness, resentment, anger, hurt or whatever you want to call it, is very damaging and certainly not worth it.
As I was thinking back over the past few years and my experiences, I’m reminded of how I got through it. I have a great healer! Yes, I have the choice to forgive but I don’t have the strength or power to heal my own broken heart, to restore happiness, or even better, joy. I surely can’t make myself whole. Soon after my experience, God took me through a wonderful book called “Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”. It truly was life changing for me. God began to reveal much more than hurt I had felt from the past few years. He began to show me the ways I’d been hurt through out my entire life, how I hadn’t let go of much of it. It was as if God was pulling back the layers of my heart and showing me that I needed to deal with the pain, unforgiveness and even the ways I had hurt others. He also helped me to understand that some wounds are so deep that forgiveness isn’t something I could accomplish alone. I needed Him to help me. He definitely knows more than anyone else how to forgive and how difficult it truly is for us. He wants us to be whole and I mean completely whole (body, mind and soul). This is a process and it will continue until Jesus is revealed, but it is a process that is for necessary for us right now. Forgiveness is an essential.
If you have some unforgiveness, I would like to encourage you to let it go and choose to forgive. Don’t live in anger and resentment, it will rob you of happiness, health and wholeness. If it seems to hard, ask God for his help as well as His healing.
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